


The Voice

by krysnel_nicavis



Series: Imperius Trilogy [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Kris Allen (Musician), kradam - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-21
Updated: 2011-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-21 13:19:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krysnel_nicavis/pseuds/krysnel_nicavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being forced to kill someone you love under the Imperius Curse isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Kradam. Adam’s POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note1: AU (Alternate Universe)  
> Author’s Note2: These dark fics are difficult for me to write but I see it as a challenge to get myself to write about things that disturb me (I can read it no problem but generating out of my own imagination is something else entirely.)
> 
> Companion Fic to "Realizations and Decisions"

**_“I just can’t do this anymore,”_ ** _the tinny voice over the phone sounded in his ear._

_“Drake, please,” Adam begged. “I know we can work this out. I know we can-”_

**_“We can’t Adam,”_ ** _Drake stated. **“It’s too late.”**_

_Adam sucked in a shaky breath. “Is… is there someone else?” he asked hushed._

**_“No,”_ ** _Drake replied. **“Well, not yet.”**_

_“Not yet?”_

**_“Look, we gave this our best shot. It’s just not enough for me,”_ ** _Drake explained **. “I want more from a relationship than you can give, Adam.”**_

-o0o-

He sat on the edge of his hotel bed, head in his hands as blackened tears rolled down his face.  How could he have let it come to this?  How could he have let it happen?

Why couldn’t he have stopped it?

Adam lifted his head to watch the rain pour down the glass on the sliding door.  Beyond that was a New Zealand skyline.  He stood from his perch and slowly made his way to the glass door, sliding it open, and stepped barefoot out onto the small concrete balcony.  He lifted his head and allowed the clear icy rain to wash away the hot salty tears that continued to flow.  No matter how many were washed away more leaked out to take their place.

He didn’t deserve this pain.

He deserved much worse…

-o0o-

_He supposed he should at least feel fortunate that Drake had left it until the album was completed before breaking Adam’s heart.  If he hadn’t, Adam wasn’t sure he’d have been able to make his deadline._

_If pressed he would not have been able to recall anything specific that had been talked about or happened during the release of the album or the subsequent promo tour, or even his current tour so far – if he’d ever chosen to examine it, which he refused, he’d realize it had been so since the break-up six months earlier.  Since that conversation with Drake he’d been drifting through the circus that was currently his life.  He dressed in what he was given, had his make-up done just so, and smiled when instructed to._

_The promotional tour had gone off without a hitch and the release of the album had been met with much enthusiasm.  After the promo tour Adam had gone straight into preparations for the actual tour.  Five months later Adam had already covered the United States and Canada on his second world tour.  He was now about to begin the European leg._

_He shuffled off the elevator and down the hall to his room in whatever hotel he was currently staying at.  He wasn’t even completely sure what city they were in, only that it wasn’t in the States.  While he didn’t register a door opening on his way by he did stop when the familiar voice reached his ear._

_“Hey Rockstar,” the man greeted with a smirk._

-o0o-

Adam sank to his knees, his pyjama pants and tank top soaked through by now.  Behind him he could feel the heat from inside the hotel room escaping into the storm.  Sinking further into a sitting position he curled into himself, hugging his long legs to him with his freckled arms as the rain poured down around him.  His tear tracks had long since washed away and his limbs were beginning to numb in the chilled water.

In his mind’s eye he replayed every second of that horrible moment.  Relived every horrifying second as, piece by piece, his soul broke apart beyond any hope of mending.

-o0o-

_“So, how’s the tour going so far?” Kris asked as he snagged another fry from the cardboard tray they were sharing._

_“Uh,” Adam looked down bashfully, feeling a blush creep into his face.  He hoped his make-up hid it well enough. “I’m really not sure to tell you the truth,” he replied and looked around the walkway overlooking a river.  They were seated on a stone bench after walking around the city, London Kris had said._

_“I figured as much,” Kris grinned, albeit a little sympathetically. “I’ve been worried about you lately,” Kris said honestly. “More than lately,” he corrected himself. “I’ve been worried since I heard.”_

_Adam offered a small smile. “I’ll be okay,” he assured. “Eventually, but I will be.”_

_“I hope so,” Kris said and snagged the last fry. “Now how about we have some fun, just the two of us?”_

_“I’d have more fun if you didn’t hog the last fry,” Adam joked._

_Kris smirked a little evilly and placed the fry half in his mouth. “Want the rest?” he asked around it and puckered his lips teasingly._

_Adam grinned at the challenge in his friend’s eyes.  Without warning he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Kris’ mouth as he bit off the rest of the fry.  Kris pulled back, laughing, before chewing his half._

-o0o-

Adam held his head in his hands, pulling at his hair, and let out a gut wrenching scream.  All the pain and sorrow in his heart could be heard in that scream.

He curled onto his side, shaking.  Whether it was from the cold or his emotions he wasn’t sure.  Either way he didn’t care.  He curled onto his side, pulling his numb limbs into a foetal position.  A fresh wave of tears poured, unseen in the rain, as he sobbed his damaged heart out.

The memories played on and he felt tainted.  Dirty.  Unforgivable.

-o0o-

_The two friends laughed as they jogged down the empty street.  A light drizzle had started and they raced to keep under the cover provided in front of various shops.  It was darkening now and many of the shops on this street were closed._

_“I haven’t had this much fun in months,” Adam grinned as they slowed their pace in the small shelter they were able to find._

_“Well, I’m glad I could be here for it,” Kris grinned back.  The two former Idols had spent the day just having fun – Kris had even dragged Adam into an arcade for a few hours._

_“You really are one of my best friends, you know that right?” Adam asked._

_“Of course I do,” replied Kris with that charming smile that Adam had first been attracted to years ago. “Just like you’re one of mine.”_

_Adam smiled down at the Arkansas born man.  He suddenly felt as though he were floating.  Everything around him was becoming distant and he was left with a feeling of inexplicable calm and contentment.  He was hardly even aware of his friend standing right in front of him._

**_He’s beautiful, isn’t he?_ ** _a strange voice sounded in his head…_

Beautiful isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe Kris _, Adam thought.  He vaguely registered Kris asking him if he was alright._

 **_You want him, don’t you?_ ** _the voice continued. **You want to feel his body against your own.**_

 _Adam frowned inside._ Where is all this coming from? __

 **_Do it,_ ** _the voice urged. **Do it right now.**_

Do what? ****

 **_Take him into that alley behind you and have your way with him,_ ** _the voice was more impatient this time.  He could just make out Kris’ worried expression through the fog in his mind._

But Kris is my friend _, Adam reasoned to himself,_ why would I do that to my friend?

 **_Take him into the alley,_ ** _the voice demanded. **Right now.**   To his horror his body obeyed the voice.  He strained against his own body as it grabbed hold of Kris’ arm and dragged him into the nearby alley._

_“Adam? What are you doing?” he heard Kris ask, startled.  Adam watched as he threw Kris against the brick wall of one of the buildings. “Ow, what’s wrong with you?” Kris demanded, getting angry. “What the hell man?”_

**_Kiss him,_ ** _the voice ordered. **Dominate him.**_

 _Adam did, cutting off more of Kris’ rants._ What am I doing? This is Kris for fuck sake!

 **_You want this,_ ** _the voice insisted. **I’ve been watching you all day. You want this. You want him.**_

Not like this, _Adam insisted._ I don’t want to hurt him like this. Why can’t I stop?

 **_Do it,_ ** _the voice commanded. **Take pleasure in his body. Fuck him right here, in this alley. Do it now!**_

_Adam pushed against the force that was controlling his body.  He managed to urge his body a few inches away from Kris’.  He looked into Kris’ now fear filled eyes and tried to push his way out of the fog in his mind. “I’m sorry,” he managed to rasp out before the unseen force overpowered him and drove his body to do its bidding._

_In his mind he retreated as far away from the surface as he could but that did little to block out the sight of Kris’ tears, his look of betrayal, or the sounds of his friend’s pleads for him to stop.  He could still feel himself forcibly penetrate the smaller man, only thankful that his body had taken a little time to prepare the man’s entrance with the lube he always carried in his jacket pocket – something that always got him teased by friends who knew about it.  He cursed at himself for enjoying the pleasurable feeling of thrusting into the hot virgin entrance of the man now pressed between Adam’s body and the alley wall in front of him.  He cried in his mind at the moans that were escaping his throat.  He was approaching his climax when the fog receded and the floating sensation was suddenly sapped away._

_“Oh god,” he choked out as he thrust into the body beneath him and came inside Kris.  He was shaking as he shoved himself away from the wall and pulled out of the smaller body.  He stumbled backward and landed on his ass on the ground, leaning against the opposite wall.  He was fully aware of the quiet sobs of the man across from him, the shallow, almost hyperventilating breaths sounded broken in his ears._

_He curled into himself as the drizzling rain now poured around them and hugged his legs to himself.  Allowing large hot tears to burn down his cold cheeks as he came to terms with what just happened: he raped his best friend._

-o0o-

The tears had long since stopped and the chattering in his teeth was beginning to slow.  With the wind and rain were still whipping around him in the relenting storm this was not a good sign.  But at this point he was beyond caring about just how deeply the hypothermia was setting in.

He barely registered the warmth that suddenly surrounded him and pulled him into a sitting position.  His limbs ached from being so still in the cold for so long.  He leaned on the warm body next to him as he was half dragged and half carried back into the now cold room.  He thought he heard the sliding door shut and the sounds of the storm became muffled as he sat on the wet rug, propped up against the rain soaked bed.

He heard a muttered _“shit”_ as he stared ahead, not seeing anything.  Offering little resistance aside from the stiffness in his muscles he was pulled to sit next to the second, and completely dry, bed in the room.  His soaking wet clothes were peeled from his body and a large towel was wrapped around him before he was hauled onto the bed and the covers were thrown over him.  He blinked and heard some shuffling around the room before the other side of the covers where pulled back and the warm body returned to his side, pressing against his icy skin.

-o0o-

Adam burrowed further into the blankets, snuggling into the warm body next to him and sighed.  The room was warm again and he was comfortable.  He breathed in the familiar yet strange scent of the man next to him.  It was familiar in that he was able to recognize it from somewhere, but strange as it wasn’t one he was accustomed to being in his bed when he woke up… there was that one time back in the Idol mansion but-

His eyes snapped open and he pushed himself into a half sitting position.  He turned terrified eyes to the brunette who lay beside him and froze.

“Hey Rockstar,” came the quiet, slightly unsure, greeting.

\- 30 -

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: In practically all the HP fics I’ve read (and even the HP books), the worst possible thing that happens under the Imperius Curse results in death – either by forcing the victim to kill someone else or by forcing them to kill themselves. In reality, I don’t believe death is the worst outcome. When you die, that’s it. Sure the killer is left with the guilt but when both are left alive that adds something worse to the whole thing. When they’re both left alive, they both have to live with what happened and with (or without) each other.
> 
> Also, writing companion pieces from both POVs was inspired by my CSI "Chemical Trilogy".
> 
> I say this on R&D as well but: despite the darkness I hope it wasn’t completely terrible. (I don’t want to say, ‘I hope you enjoyed it’ cause these two were hurting, but you get what I mean.)


End file.
